Quickies!!

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

The Chinese are already making a movie about Tiger Woods' crash. They are calling it, "Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger.

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name?: Cheetah

It’s a publicity stunt for his new DVD release, “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant”.

Nike wants to drop their endorsement, apparently Tiger’s balls go everywhere.

Q.
How many times did you hit Tiger?
Elin:
I'm not sure, put me down for a 5.

Due to the unprecedented publicity of Tiger's trysts, the 2010 event at the TPC Sawgrass will be renamed "The Playa's Championship"...

Confusius say: He who drive well in "fairway" not always "fare" well in driveway.

Nike Pays for Plastic Surgery to Fix Tiger's Lips after Accident

Although there still remains speculation on how Tiger got his lips cut up the other night....some say his lovely little wife did in fact take a 9 iron to his mug as a result of a domestic dispute over another woman. Others are saying that he did a header into the steering wheel or windshield when he hit a fire hydrant and then a tree, because he couldn't sleep that night thinking about the upcoming tourney he was hosting and the problems he has had driving it straight...so he was out practicing bare foot in his escalade!

But, NIKE has once again shown complete support for their prize athlete and have paid for reconstructive lip surgery....

tiger nike

Merry Christmas from
Tiger and Elin

tiger

 

Click Here to Play "Elin Chases Tiger" Game

(from Bill, Courtney and at least 3 other people)

 

Twas the Night of Thanksgiving

T'was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse...
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry.
He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid."
She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year.