Letters from the Rough
(All the emails and letters that are fit to reprint)
From the homeland of THE GAME:
Name: Graham Dubsky
Comments: Love this site...please Facebook a page. Hello from Aberdeen, Scotland and all us wannabe golfers :-)
Reply from The Commish: Nice to hear from you. Back here in Maryland I live in "Glencoe" just about 25 miles from from "Aberdeen". Our Scots roots run deep, unfortunately our golfing abilities don't. But, at least, we can't get enough of this frustrating and wonderful game. Hope you got to check out "The Snowman's" page because there is a guy that is so horrid at golf that he'll make anyone feel better about their game. It is a wonder, but he still loves to play it.
P.S. Here is the link to our Facebook page.
From Brooks in response to The Commish:
Commish: Hi Brooks,
The embroidered hats and shirts are available in the BGA Store, or you can stop in if you want to.
Hope you've been hitting them better than I have this summer.
Response: went to THE WOODLANDS yesterday with 2 other fellows...we lost 27 balls !!!!!!
Fortunately I had my White Bodied Dimplefish License with me.
From our favorite (and cutest) bartender at The Crackpot:
Comments: Magnum, Roger, Bill, and Jeff,
Thanks for the comment on your page! I was very flattered! You were all wonderful customers and I'm sad I won't be seeing you Wednesday afternoons and evenings. But hey if the teaching thing doesn't work out I think I'd be a pretty good caddy ;) Hopefully I'll run into you sometime soon on the other side of the bar!
Thanks again,
Megan
PS Sorry about the med rare Drew Burger!!!
Mr. Fifteen Commenting on The Snowman Speaks on August 26, 2010:
It was like listening to the speech that George C. Scott gave when he was Patton. One feels moved to wave the colors and charge to destroy yet another course. I think the Snowman has drawn a line in the drifts that none can pass to top his snow feats again this year.
From: Chuck Ferguson
COMMENTS: A friend at church this morning told me that I should check out the website for the "Bad Golfers Society", on which I would find a list of 100 rules for bad golfers.
To begin with, his use of the word "Society" was apparently in error, because my Google search only turned up your site. OKAY, I can live with that. But nowhere could I find any "List of 100 Rules for Bad Golfers".
I would like to see such a list, if it exists, because I certainly quality for that category.
On Another Note: I noticed the shirt in the photo. Good school, that RIT. I sent a lot of students there when I taught high school down in the Southern Tier area of NY State. THANx for your response to my inquiry.
COMMISH: Hi Chuck,
Glad you visited the BGA site but I'm afraid I don't know "100 Rules for Bad Golfers". We have 2 rules:
1) It's okay to play bad golf but do it quickly; and
2) Don't take all day to line up your first putt because we all know that you will need at least two more after that one.
Couldn't agree with you more about RIT. Hope my golfing travails don't reflect upon it too badly. I'll put your letter up on the "Letters From the Rough" page and maybe someone will have an answer. Check back from time to time.
A "Pressing" Situation
From: Rick
Q: I'm accused of being mean to Charlie, but I'm trying to make the best of a situation.
Charlie has a prostrate condition and takes a fair amount of time to relieve himself. I try to get him to the 5th hole at our local course for a rest stop. I must confess this is not in the interest of playing fast, but this is the hole where I find more Titleist Pro-V's than Top Flites. (I give the Top Flites to Charlie.) I figure the extra couple of minutes that Charlie needs, I can put to good use. Am I being all that mean to Charlie? Even after I buy him that extra cup of coffee in the morning?
COMMISH: Your kindness and consideration of Charlie is to be commended. I recall hearing of another less considerate cart buddy making his partner ride two entire holes sucking in a case of the runs just so he could beat him. You, on the other hand spend your downtime not twiddling your thumbs but helping Poor Ole Charlie restock his supply of ammunition for the next 13 holes. I can find no fault in your keeping the Pro V1's for yourself (besides, Charlie will never know)!
P.S. What do you do with the Callaways?
A message for "Squirrel":
Comments: Hey! I found your BGA site, as I was surfing/looking for an old friend, Gary Marlowe. I sure found him here. I have to tell you though, as someone who caddied for him, being in the woods is not why we called him "Squirrel"! If this page is relatively current, and you're still in touch with Gary, tell him I said "Hey".
Andy Bittner, another King Richard
Jim Remler wrote:
COMMENTS: Commish, we are wondering if you guys have hit the links yet. Any snow around? What about cold damp dreary days?. We are suffering with sunny, bright 75 degree days. But we manage to hit the links with a great deal of enthusiasm. All is well here in Citrus Hills Golf and Country Club. We had a successful winter season -- Ringer Classic, Sweetheart Classic, St. Patrick's Day Classic and BGA Ladies Day. We continue to enjoy golf and fellowship with BGA golfers. We have added more pictures and individual pictures to our website. Check it out.
COMMISH: Morning Jim, we started our season last Wed. If you go to the "Enter the BGA" section and scroll down to "The Scribe's Report" we have all of the gory details of our opening day. Kinda makes me wonder why we all looked forward to the snow melting so we could play again.
Today it's 45 and rainy but by Wed. we should have good weather again for our next round. I guess the Golf Gods do have a sense of humor 'cause they always seem to make room for us to embarrass ourselves every week.
Thanks for staying in touch and remember in the words of my great golf instructor, Gary Marlowe, "You don't need a golf ball with more playability, you need a golf ball with more findability!"
The Commish Offers a Non-Binding Ruling...
Q: My playing opponent flubbed his chip shot. He then grabbed his putter and then uttered 'fuc%'. Because he uttered 'fuc%' after changing clubs, isn't that a two stroke penalty?
A: This is a tricky question. Are you sure he pronounced "fucpercentagemark" with the correct syllabication? If in fact it was pronounced correctly than, of course, there is no penalty. After all, how can someone be penalized for using correct grammar?
If, as I suspect, improper syllabication was used then the proper thing to do is not to assess penalties but to tell your playing partner to "fucpercentagemark himself" and hope that he learned the proper pronunciation from a golf scholar such as yourself.
Rick writes concerning Bufordgate...
Comments: After reading the Uncle Buford story, I noticed the restaurant was one that Kathy and I visited. I think they took the breakfast buffet off the menu, as it reportedly caused an artificial jump in pig bellies futures. So the legend goes...
Name: Graham Dubsky
Comments: Love this site...please Facebook a page. Hello from Aberdeen, Scotland and all us wannabe golfers :-)
Reply from The Commish: Nice to hear from you. Back here in Maryland I live in "Glencoe" just about 25 miles from from "Aberdeen". Our Scots roots run deep, unfortunately our golfing abilities don't. But, at least, we can't get enough of this frustrating and wonderful game. Hope you got to check out "The Snowman's" page because there is a guy that is so horrid at golf that he'll make anyone feel better about their game. It is a wonder, but he still loves to play it.
P.S. Here is the link to our Facebook page.
From Brooks in response to The Commish:
Commish: Hi Brooks,
The embroidered hats and shirts are available in the BGA Store, or you can stop in if you want to.
Hope you've been hitting them better than I have this summer.
Response: went to THE WOODLANDS yesterday with 2 other fellows...we lost 27 balls !!!!!!
Fortunately I had my White Bodied Dimplefish License with me.
From our favorite (and cutest) bartender at The Crackpot:
Comments: Magnum, Roger, Bill, and Jeff,
Thanks for the comment on your page! I was very flattered! You were all wonderful customers and I'm sad I won't be seeing you Wednesday afternoons and evenings. But hey if the teaching thing doesn't work out I think I'd be a pretty good caddy ;) Hopefully I'll run into you sometime soon on the other side of the bar!
Thanks again,
Megan
PS Sorry about the med rare Drew Burger!!!
Mr. Fifteen Commenting on The Snowman Speaks on August 26, 2010:
It was like listening to the speech that George C. Scott gave when he was Patton. One feels moved to wave the colors and charge to destroy yet another course. I think the Snowman has drawn a line in the drifts that none can pass to top his snow feats again this year.
From: Chuck Ferguson
COMMENTS: A friend at church this morning told me that I should check out the website for the "Bad Golfers Society", on which I would find a list of 100 rules for bad golfers.
To begin with, his use of the word "Society" was apparently in error, because my Google search only turned up your site. OKAY, I can live with that. But nowhere could I find any "List of 100 Rules for Bad Golfers".
I would like to see such a list, if it exists, because I certainly quality for that category.
On Another Note: I noticed the shirt in the photo. Good school, that RIT. I sent a lot of students there when I taught high school down in the Southern Tier area of NY State. THANx for your response to my inquiry.
COMMISH: Hi Chuck,
Glad you visited the BGA site but I'm afraid I don't know "100 Rules for Bad Golfers". We have 2 rules:
1) It's okay to play bad golf but do it quickly; and
2) Don't take all day to line up your first putt because we all know that you will need at least two more after that one.
Couldn't agree with you more about RIT. Hope my golfing travails don't reflect upon it too badly. I'll put your letter up on the "Letters From the Rough" page and maybe someone will have an answer. Check back from time to time.
A "Pressing" Situation
From: Rick
Q: I'm accused of being mean to Charlie, but I'm trying to make the best of a situation.
Charlie has a prostrate condition and takes a fair amount of time to relieve himself. I try to get him to the 5th hole at our local course for a rest stop. I must confess this is not in the interest of playing fast, but this is the hole where I find more Titleist Pro-V's than Top Flites. (I give the Top Flites to Charlie.) I figure the extra couple of minutes that Charlie needs, I can put to good use. Am I being all that mean to Charlie? Even after I buy him that extra cup of coffee in the morning?
COMMISH: Your kindness and consideration of Charlie is to be commended. I recall hearing of another less considerate cart buddy making his partner ride two entire holes sucking in a case of the runs just so he could beat him. You, on the other hand spend your downtime not twiddling your thumbs but helping Poor Ole Charlie restock his supply of ammunition for the next 13 holes. I can find no fault in your keeping the Pro V1's for yourself (besides, Charlie will never know)!
P.S. What do you do with the Callaways?
A message for "Squirrel":
Comments: Hey! I found your BGA site, as I was surfing/looking for an old friend, Gary Marlowe. I sure found him here. I have to tell you though, as someone who caddied for him, being in the woods is not why we called him "Squirrel"! If this page is relatively current, and you're still in touch with Gary, tell him I said "Hey".
Andy Bittner, another King Richard
Jim Remler wrote:
COMMENTS: Commish, we are wondering if you guys have hit the links yet. Any snow around? What about cold damp dreary days?. We are suffering with sunny, bright 75 degree days. But we manage to hit the links with a great deal of enthusiasm. All is well here in Citrus Hills Golf and Country Club. We had a successful winter season -- Ringer Classic, Sweetheart Classic, St. Patrick's Day Classic and BGA Ladies Day. We continue to enjoy golf and fellowship with BGA golfers. We have added more pictures and individual pictures to our website. Check it out.
COMMISH: Morning Jim, we started our season last Wed. If you go to the "Enter the BGA" section and scroll down to "The Scribe's Report" we have all of the gory details of our opening day. Kinda makes me wonder why we all looked forward to the snow melting so we could play again.
Today it's 45 and rainy but by Wed. we should have good weather again for our next round. I guess the Golf Gods do have a sense of humor 'cause they always seem to make room for us to embarrass ourselves every week.
Thanks for staying in touch and remember in the words of my great golf instructor, Gary Marlowe, "You don't need a golf ball with more playability, you need a golf ball with more findability!"
The Commish Offers a Non-Binding Ruling...
Q: My playing opponent flubbed his chip shot. He then grabbed his putter and then uttered 'fuc%'. Because he uttered 'fuc%' after changing clubs, isn't that a two stroke penalty?
A: This is a tricky question. Are you sure he pronounced "fucpercentagemark" with the correct syllabication? If in fact it was pronounced correctly than, of course, there is no penalty. After all, how can someone be penalized for using correct grammar?
If, as I suspect, improper syllabication was used then the proper thing to do is not to assess penalties but to tell your playing partner to "fucpercentagemark himself" and hope that he learned the proper pronunciation from a golf scholar such as yourself.
Rick writes concerning Bufordgate...
Comments: After reading the Uncle Buford story, I noticed the restaurant was one that Kathy and I visited. I think they took the breakfast buffet off the menu, as it reportedly caused an artificial jump in pig bellies futures. So the legend goes...
From another BGA Chapter:
Comments from Jim: Commish, I read your website concerning the BGA. I was impressed with your information and the BGA. I am involved in another chapter of the BGA at Citrus Hills Golf & Country Club in Hernando, Florida. We have a website you might want to view. www.bgacitrushills.com Check it out and let me know what you think.
Comments from Clint:
Our BGA Commissioner, Jim Remler, at www.bgacitrushills.com told me about your web site. I've checked it out and it is great. I am webmaster for ours, but yours is much more sophisticated! Good job! I'll keep an eye on you from times to time. Happy Golf.